My run-in at the airport
So here is what happened…
I had traveled to Colorado to work for a client. I arrived at the Denver airport and found a spot to sit and wait for boarding. A 50ish year old woman sat down beside me. I said “hello” and she responded in kind.
The woman and her traveling companion began having a conversation about all the “immigrants” in the airport. And I quickly noticed that the term was being applied to any person who was not white. I made a mental note and went back to my book.
I started to have that feeling that I was being closely observed. Sure enough, I noticed that she was staring at the tattoo I have on my right arm.
I have a “Love is Love is Love is Love is Love is” tattoo around my right forearm.
Then it began…
Her: What does your tattoo say?
Me: Love is Love is Love is Love is Love.
Her: What does that mean?
Me: If you have to ask then you wouldn’t understand.
Her: Must be some liberal thing.
Me: Yes, it is a liberal thing. Conservatives tend not to understand that love is love.
Her: I find that offensive!
Me: So do I.
She looks at me in complete shock and disbelief. She gathered her things and she and her companion hurriedly moved two rows away staring at me like I was a terrorist.
I posted this experience on Facebook later that evening when I returned home. And I received many message of support and shock that anyone would act this way.
But…I also received some very pointed private messages. I will be fair, one of the messages was not pointed. This friend was concerned that I was participating in the divisiveness that is so prevalent in our country today. His main concern was that I was perpetuating an “us vs. them” mentality.
I responded to his message and assured him that I was not rude…I was not aggressive…I simply expressed myself as conversationally as I could. Which is quite a feat considering how angry I really was.
I ignored the other messages. Actually, that is not true. I successfully reduced my number of “friends” by three that day.
The experience has me thinking.
This is not the first time I have been publicly challenged about a tattoo…or my earrings…or my “faggy” demeanor. So, I confess that I bring a bit of baggage to these encounters.
As a student of communication, I try to adapt my messages and communicate in an open and collaborative manner. But, at some point isn’t it really us vs. them? I mean, if someone is attacking you, don’t you have the valid opportunity to fight back? Yes, my first instinct is to communicate effectively…I have always believed that is the best way to achieve understanding. And I am a strong believer that we can disagree and still get along.
But…
If someone is simply casting you in a role or persona or class with no interest in really getting to know you…or they are intentionally calling out a difference that they fully intend to use as a reason to dislike you or be cruel…then isn’t it us vs. them?
Aren’t we in a place were we have to start participating in an us vs. them sometimes? I don’t think it is a “be silent” and “just get along” situation at the moment. I think we have to fight for what is right.
Martin Niemöller wrote:
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
I suppose I am saying I am going to speak up…
Just sayin’
