Talking to Myself
I talk to myself. I always have. Lately, I think it may be getting a little out of control.
Since I am a flaming liberal who actually listens to science, logic, and reason, I am still quarantining. I only leave my house to pick up groceries (H-E-B curbside) or see the doctor. As a result, my interaction with others is severely limited. And I NEED interaction with others! My husband is an essential worker, and works every day as a Patient Services Director of an animal hospital here in Austin. So I am alone a lot...a lot.
Here are some things I have actually said out loud to myself recently...
While working on a particularly challenging piece of code: "Well that can't be good! Hey there. You never know, sometimes mistakes lead to a good solution. Shut up, fool!"
I left my office to go to the bathroom. I walked in on the cat performing a very personal and private bathing routine on our bed: "I am so sorry. Please continue, I will use the guest bathroom. Again, I apologize."
Sitting at my desk after making a design mistake: "And who's fault is that? Yours. Mine? I don't think so. Don't point your finger at me like that. You better back off, bitch!"
Standing, hand on hips, addressing the dog: "Listen, you have a choice. Sure you can lose your mind every time that squirrel teases you, or you can choose better behavior options that cause you less stress."
To an avocado I forgot I had purchased: "I will miss you. You lived a good life. Rest in peace."
To a piece of technology that was acting up: "You don't get to act like that. Grow up and do your job or I swear I will kick you out of this house. There is plenty of homeless tech looking for a good home."
To a cup of coffee: "I love you. You are the only one who truly understands me."
To my reflection in the mirror after waking up: "You look like you had a good time last night. Wish I had been there."
Standing alone, crying in the kitchen: "What's wrong? What's wrong?! There is beer, wine, and vodka...and I don't know what to do! That's what's wrong."
To a very dirty martini: "I love you. You are the only one who truly understands me. Don't tell coffee."
And finally, standing alone in the kitchen eating chips directly from the bag: "Shut up! You are not the boss of me!"
So, there you go. A glimpse into the chaotic, current state of my mind.
What's left of it anyway.
Just sayin'
